The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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