What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
