I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
