Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
