Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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