theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Found the puke drawer
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize