So drunk its hurt
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
