sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize