Is it normal to miss your booty call?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
