How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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