Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
