no. you can't hotbox the world.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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