I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize