my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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