Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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