And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
