Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
