apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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