What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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