I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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