Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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