Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize