This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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