She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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