are you still at the devil's house?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
