Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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