Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
