didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
