i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
