yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
