So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Come share oat with me in your robe
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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