Moan for me like Helen Keller
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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