I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
