My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
