Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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