I molested 6 butterflies tonight
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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