its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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