I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
