Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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