i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
