The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
