it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize