I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize