You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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