Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
