you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I was not drunk enough for that final.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
