Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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