I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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