that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
The ass gains better be worth it
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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