He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
