Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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