I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
