I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
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