He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize