If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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