I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize