Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Why did my mother make you get naked?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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