so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
