Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize