So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
