no, he came in my armpit
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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