you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
