nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize