Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
