Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
