And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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