Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
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