Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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