how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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