This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
